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How To Avoid Depression

How To Avoid Depression

by | Oct 10, 2018 | Depression, Mental Health | 0 comments

Keep Thy Heart With All Diligence

The above title is from a great verse found in the Bible, urging us to be very careful as to what we allow into our lives whether it be through the ear or the eye. Having said that there are still things that happen to us that put us into a downward spiral even if we have been careful to avoid the negativity that is so prevalent today. Right up front, we are not saying that this post will keep everyone from all depression ALL of the time. These are just a few ideas that you will find helpful.  Let’s get started. Be wary of social media, prime-time television, the evening news, and negative people, specifically those who are scornful (Those who express contempt and derision).

To break these down many experts are finding that there is an increase in depression with an increase of social media use. There has even been a new term coined called Facebook Depression which describes the negative aspects of large amounts of time on different media. {Anxiety and Depression Association of America} See Dr. Jeff Nalin’s blog. Teens are especially vulnerable to cyberbullying and have even been known to have such a low self-worth that after being bullied they take their own lives! Then it is true also true that many will spend hours on their phones and miss out on proper social interaction with their parents and friends.

Primetime television will suck the life out of one’s soul if you will let it. I am going to date myself here by saying I enjoyed watching the Archie Bunker Show. But to be brutally honest it taught me to despise people, criticize others whom I did not like and tended to make the watchers of the show extremely self-righteous and judgemental. We began to identify with Archie and that my friend is a dangerous thing! Cheers! is a show I never got into and if the mention of that makes you bristle then you need to ask yourself what kind of edifying conversations can come from a show that is featuring drunk people at a bar? There is low brow humor galore to keep you hooked but the end result is a shallow “me first” philosophy of life. The Jerry Springer show was once almost off of the air and the producers told Jerry to get the ratings up no matter what it took and Viola! we have Trash TV, complete with off-duty Chicago police officers to break up the fights that the audience came to see. This type of drivel only causes one to despair at humanity and the downward spiral society is in.

The evening news can be overwhelming too. I understand that it reports the “news” around the world but it is usually full of the murders that took place that day or the latest terror attack. Remember positive events do not usually get Neilson ratings up. I DO care about other parts of the world but the constant barrage of horror that others are enduring overwhelms us and is depressing or we just come to the point that we don’t care anymore.

Negative people are the hardest to avoid because we may have to interact with them every day at the workplace or school. But ask yourself, “Do I have to listen to this stream of gossip, bile, or hatred as the other person wants me to?” I was once talking with Brother Doug Fisher and he said when the conversation turns so as to criticize others he politely excuses himself with a valid reason. Those reasons may include: “I need to get a drink of water. ” or “I need to make a phone call.” or “I need to flush my ears out.”

Be Proactive Against Depression!

How in the world can one be proactive against depression? Isn’t it true that I am doomed to an endless cycle of mood swings, trips to the doctor to alter my meds, and another session of therapy? NO! The following suggestions are not a cure-all but I strongly believe we can do something to fight back when we feel the onset of a depressive cycle. It is now October in Michigan and endless sunny days of riding the bike down to the park to play with the kids are coming to an end. Instead, we are being met with the cold, rainy, and rather gloomy weather which will eventually turn into snow! There I said it! The word snow is treated as a cuss (or curse) word to many. I have already heard a man who is manic depressive mourn that he was sure that SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) was just around the corner lurking for him. With that type of attitude, he will surely help with a negative self-fulfilling prophecy in his life.

While it is true we cannot all board a jet for a trip to the Bahamas we can make the best of the situation we find ourselves in. First, talk about it with someone you can trust and begin to plan to be with people when you are tempted to despair. Don’t go it alone please! The worst thing you can do is to isolate yourself when sad or depressed. Secondly, being a man of faith I get out a list of Bible verses that remind me of God’s great love and care for me. Some of these are: “Fear thou not, be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; Yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 To be dismayed is similar to depression. Take it personally when He says that He is your God! He is your personal God and you must take that promise and believe it with all of your heart! Further, He says He will Strengthen, help, and even uphold thee! Those are some wonderful promises that you can take to the bank of heaven.

Another verse that has encouraged me is in the Gospel of John. We read, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27 When I read MY peace I give unto you that means so much! The Lord Jesus has perfect peace and He promises to give us that peace? Friend, that is out of this world! It is a supernatural peace that passes all understanding! (see Philippians 4:6,7) Also, note that is NOT what the world will give you for peace, a temporary, fleeting, shallow peace brought on by pills or booze. The key to these verses giving us help is to not read them from an intellectual perspective but to personalize them. Picture, if you will the Lord Jesus sitting down next to you and saying, “I know you are having an anxiety episode (or) I know you are very depressed and no one seems to care, but I want you to know, …” Then you let Him minister to you with these verses.

Some more verses are: For God hath given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7  I also like a verse found in Joshua. “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

The problem with these verses is….wait….there is no problem. We have become too familiar with them and quote them without realizing we are looking at the very promises of God unto His children. I have had many a troubled night turned into a time of peace and then praise as I have reflected upon the precious promises of God. There will be other blogs on depression coming soon. It is such a scourge that Satan is using against the child of God and holding many in bondage. Please feel free to comment and suggest topics related to depression or anxiety or just share your story. I am listening and I care.

How To Conquer Bitterness

How To Conquer Bitterness

by | Aug 23, 2018 | Mental Health | 0 comments

It has been said that bitterness and acid will destroy the vessel that contains them. How true! I have had the awful experience of being bitter at others and, friend it is just not worth it! I beg you to read this blog unto the bitter end (pun intended) and begin the journey out of the prison you have created for yourself by allowing unforgiveness and bitterness to invade and permeate your soul. You may not think you need to do this but those around you can see it and meanwhile you will continue to justify the bad spirit you have worked so hard at keeping unless you take the first step by admitting you are bitter and then wanting the victory over it. Only the Lord can deliver you. In fact, I will be posting other blogs on this subject because it may take you some time to get set free. “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest ANY root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Hebrews 12:15 Bitterness starts with an unforgiving spirit towards a person or persons who have offended us. In some cases, there may be bitterness towards God Himself! I mean when you think about it God could have stopped the offender from hurting you right? We will address that aspect later.

You May Think You Are Justified

Years ago I had a man come into the office and he was a wreck emotionally from the unforgiveness he held on to as a result of the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father maybe fifty years earlier. I will not go into the details here so as to not bog you down with mental images. Suffice it to say it was horrible! He said repeatedly, “I hate my father! I hate my father!” The wicked dad was now dead and probably in hell (his words.) Yet because he had not forgiven his dad he was suffering greatly which was affecting his wife and grown children. He stuttered profusely and was paranoid that his wife was cheating on him. He had a continual conflict with his grown son who had learned to be bitter by watching his dad. This poor man had not forgiven his dad for the cruelties and therefore had been delivered over to the tormentors. (Matthew 18:34) Some of the things that will torment a bitter person can be hives, colitis, stomach ulcers, germaphobia, recurring nightmares, unexplained anxiety attacks, and a host of other illnesses.

During another counseling time, I was talking with a man who told me how his stepmother had him and his brother fight as gladiators for her sick entertainment! His bitterness at her and his biological dad was easy to see some seventy years later. The problem did not end at his hatred and bitterness towards his stepmother. It extended to others who were alive who had offended him recently. Remember, “and thereby many be defiled”? Hebrews 12:15c It was impossible to dislodge him from the bitterness he had. He reveled in it!

No doubt there are those reading this who can say, “But you do not know what happened to me!” It is true I do not know the sufferings you endured but the Lord does, and He wants you to get the victory over it. It may be you were raped, beaten, abandoned, or viciously attacked. The very essence of forgiveness is that you must forgive the moral debt they owe you. Let me explain it like this. Let’s say you and I go into business. I provide the funds and you buy the equipment needed for a coffee house.  After a period of time, I come to you and ask how the business is doing expecting a return on my loan. You hang your head and say how the business went belly up because a customer found a dead rat in a biscuit he was served and he sued you out of business. So I say, “You have none of my money to return to me is that right?” and you reply, “No, I lost it all.” I am going have to forgive the debt. You simply can not pay me back what you owe me. There it is! Did you get it? Your offender cannot pay you back what is owed you. Maybe he took your innocence, maybe your purity, maybe your good name, maybe a child was murdered and he cannot give him or her back to you. So since he cannot pay you back, you take it upon yourself to hate him or her until you feel better about it. You may as well drink salt water to satisfy your thirst. Any sailor will tell you if stranded at sea, never drink ocean water to quench your thirst. You will go insane in a short amount of time. The same is true for bitter people. You are drinking the poison out of the cup hoping the other person will die and all the while you are the one getting sick! A person who is bitter will not think clearly. The occupation in your mind of the offender will cloud your thinking. A good working definition of bitterness is “the unresolved violation of my justice system.” Please remember that it is not our place to put them on trial or to exact a pound of flesh from them. They cannot undo their sin(s) against you! They cannot pay you back! That is the Lord’s job to exact whatever type of justice is due. You and I will never do it right. By the way, Christian aren’t you glad the Lord has forgiven you of all your sins past, present, and future? Why don’t you do the same? The Lord will give you the grace to do so. Read all of Matthew chapter eighteen right now. Do NOT forgive them and then wait for the Lord to hurt them. That is NOT forgiveness! God desires mercy and not sacrifice. So should you!

 Having A Conscience Void Of Offense

It is a wonderful thing to not be bitter! I know! I have been bitter (starting with unforgiveness) a few times and have been tempted many other times. Years ago my precious deacon left me for another church and they took him right in and made him a deacon there. I was devastated! I loved him dearly and because of a few misunderstandings, he left without trying to work it out. I was honest with the Lord when I said, “Dear Lord I do not even want to forgive him! This hurts so much!” (Might as well be transparent with God.) He knows all of our thoughts anyway. I began by praying, “Lord I know I should forgive but I can’t. Can you please help me to at least want to forgive him?” after weeks of praying I began to want to a little. I kept praying and God gave grace and I forgave him in my heart. I had the victory! Then the Holy Spirit said, “Now take him out to lunch.” We had a great time together. You may be asking, “Did he say he was sorry for what he did?” No, and your offender may never ask your forgiveness either! Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting them to do so.